


If One Of Us Falls

by shirina_chan



Category: Chaos Walking - Patrick Ness
Genre: Character Death, Dystopia, F/M, Falling In Love, Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:08:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 16,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28176657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shirina_chan/pseuds/shirina_chan
Summary: And suddenly, everything is different.Complete devastated, Myra realizes how much her lifes changed since President Prentiss took over Haven. Separated from her family, she has to figure out her new life in the house of healing. But while everyone seems to be just fine, Myra feels like she's stuck. And she's determined to change this.But when Myra decides to run, she meets Davy Prentiss Jr. who saves her life. While Myra doesn't know whether to trust him or not, Davy tries everything to gain her trust. But can she really trust the son of the president she's heard so many stories about?
Relationships: David Prentiss & Davy Prentiss Jr, Davy Prentiss Jr & OC
Comments: 4
Kudos: 3





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> A Chaos Walking Fanstory.  
> Except for my OC´s, I don´t own the characters or the original story.   
> Characters and original Storyline by Patrick Ness.
> 
> Based on Chaos Walking by Patrick Ness.
> 
> Welcome to my first ever Chaos Walking Story!  
> Before we begin: I´m not native English, so I know this isn´t perfect. Also, please take the trigger warnings that will follow seriously.
> 
> TW // Blood, Character death, possibly graphic display of violence (I´m unsure how good I write, so I just put this here not knowing if I need to), loosing an important person

I hate this life so much. I´m finally able to leave the house, but only in a big group, being forced to stay with them while the army is watching us. We aren´t allowed outside for longer than an hour either. That isn´t really how I imagine living after he took over, it´s more like imprisonment. I should´ve known though, no one who wants to make room for peaceful living would take over a city with an army. I´m just staring onto the white wall of the sterile room in the house of healing, imagining how live has been just a little while ago. There is not one part left of me that is even hoping for the best, because it seems too random, too illogical. This is just how life would be from now on. 

But staying here on this bed, not knowing what to do from day to day is not the way I want to live. I got up and start pacing through the room that I sleep in on my own, eventually ending up at the window. In front of it are a few men from the army. I don´t really know any of them. I can´t hear their noise either. After all I am not able to leave the house since we apparently surrendered. Apparently because the politicians did. Not me. And not any of the women locked in with me in this house. And pretty sure not any of the women locked in in the other houses of healing. 

We had heard stories about Prentisstown and their mayor. Our new president. Prentisstown didn´t have women. No one knows why exactly, but stories have been told in the past. Stories, that all the women got killed by Spackle. Stories, that the mayor ordered his army to kill all of the women, because he wasn´t able to read them. Because women don´t have noise. And being without noise in a world that´s covered in noise makes you a threat. Because it was so easy for you to lie. I´ve heard that a lot. Men have been telling me. And it´s all over their noises. How much they mistrust us because they can´t read us. But though, men have noise most of them had learnt to cover it and lie. After all, we aren´t really able to read them either. Most of them. 

A small knock brings me back into the small white room away from my thoughts. 

“Come in,” I say quietly, hoping she´d even hear me. 

The door opens slightly. “Are you alright?,” Nell asks. 

I can tell it is her from the voice. She´s been here a lot. Much more than anyone else. I don´t think anyone else around here liked me. And about Nell I´m not sure either.

“Sure, Nell. I was just thinking about how life has been before they came. It feels like this has been going on for ages,” I answer, still looking through the window. 

Nell takes a deep breath: “I think it´s been about 2 weeks now. And maybe it´s not that bad as you think after all, you know?” 

“Too long. I can´t go on like this! We´ve been like prisoners ever since they arrived. I think it is pretty bad” 

“It´ll be getting better soon, I´m pretty sure about that!” 

“You know the stories. You know as well as I do that it won´t.”

Nell remains silent. Both of us know that it´s true what I´m saying. But neither of us wants to actually know I´m right. Neither of us wants to believe I´m right. It´s like always. We just hope for the best.


	2. Chapter 1

I look back at the bag that I put in the corner. I´ve made plans to escape. Probably not a good plan. The only actual plan I have though. There isn´t really anything left to loose. Only to win. That´s why I am doing it. Nell was the only person I told about leaving and she helped me getting everything packed. We were trying to get food without the other healers noticing all afternoon. I look outside another time. No one´s there. Not even the men from the army. At least not close. Guard change. This is my chance. Now or never. I take my bag and silently leave the room. 

Weak light is shining through the hallway. It comes from the kitchen. So do voices. I can identify one of them as Mistress Gray. Priya Gray was the only other person to visit me. And she did that by far not as often as Nell did. I´m happy about it though. She is strict and usually not really nice either. But she was the healer taking care of my injuries after all. Nell told me that Mistress Gray started getting new apprentices since so many people were hurt. She wouldn´t teach me though. According to Nell, I´m not the kind that would end up being a healer. I don´t have the talent. But right now that isn´t the problem. 

I turn around, strolling back towards my room. The voice behind me got me to flinch. 

“Where exactly do you think you´re going, Myra Foster?,” the strict voice of Mistress Gray thunders through the hallway. 

Within seconds the patients are up, turning on their lights and some of them, if they are able to walk, even stick there head out of their rooms to see what´s going on. 

I turn around: “You really don´t have to pretend to care about me! We both know you just don´t want to get into trouble.” 

Some more healers come from the kitchen to see what is happening. I look at Mistress Gray in a challenging way. 

“You´ll hand over your backpack to me!,” she says. 

I don´t move at all. 

“Immediately!,” she adds. 

And even though she doesn´t have noise I feel like I am able to read her mind. But I still don´t move. I can see her face taking on a slight red colour. 

“Girl, you better listen to her!,” one of the healers behind her says. 

“It´s my backpack. And after all, it´s also my responsibility.” I can feel people looking at me. 

I don´t break though. I don´t even care. Mistress Gray is still looking at me in the same way. 

The silence goes on for a while before Mistress Gray stops the whole thing. “This isn´t working. You are right, my girl, I don´t really care what you are doing. You are stubborn. And it´s not a good thing. If you want to leave so badly, go and get yourself killed.”

I look at her a little bit victorious. “Thank you for your trust then. No worries, if, I will only get myself killed.”

Then I turn on my heels walking back towards my room. I have about 7 minutes during the guard change. And I just messed up my first try. It will take some time until I get another chance. The earliest might actually be just before dawn. 

Frustration comes up as I sit back down onto my bed. A fast look through the window tells me that the guards are patrolling. And they´re aware I´m awake. One of them looks me into the eyes. I flinch back a little not even knowing why. 

I lean back and start to listen to the chaos I caused. The healers are trying to get the complaining patients back to bed. Complaining because they got woken up. Complaining because no one seemed to care about me leaving. About me getting myself killed. 

I could understand the healers not caring. I am not a big help. I keep to myself in my room most of the time. But they are right. After all not even I care about getting killed. 

For hours I just sit on my bed. I´m watching the two moons moving over the land, covering it in soft lighting. I´m watching the soldiers passing down every now and then. Always in a steady pace. I listen to the voices outside in the corridor. 

Mistress Gray doesn´t seem to need any sleep. Neither do I though. The unknowing that´s about to come is keeping me awake. And though the guards stopped looking at me I feel like they still know I´m not asleep. I´m eagerly waiting for dawn. 

But we are getting closer to it. Just a few hours left. With every hour my fear grows. But also my determination. I´m going to do this. Otherwise life is going to stay like this. Possibly forever.

While I´m just sitting there my thoughts start to drift away. Back to before he came. Back to the little hut we used to live in. Just outside the town. Me, my pa´s, my younger brother and the Spackle woman who was a part of our family. Even if she wasn´t like us. 

When I was a child she would tell me stories. Stories she showed in her noise in pictures. Stories her ancestors told her as a child. Before she came into the family. In a family full of men having her was like my safe place. When I wanted to talk about things I felt like men won´t understand. I still loved them. They were farmers and I helped them occasionally out on the farm. 

But I was rather spending time in school or the library, studying and reading. One day I wanted to change the town. One day I wanted to change the future. Help people around making a better living. Help new settlers to fit in and get along with the Spackle. But that was before he came. Now the only chance I have is to leave and start a new settlement. Hoping to survive and having the city grow peacefully far off this place.

I come back to myself within seconds when I realize the soldiers are moving into guard change. This was my chance. My second chance. And I don´t even know how I am getting a second chance. But I do and I won´t waste it.


	3. Chapter 2

The first thing I do when I´m outside is looking around. Checking my surroundings. But there is nothing. Without even thinking I start running towards the forest. It´s a little farther away. Silently I beg no one would see me until I am covered by the forest. While I am running I grow the feeling that the forest seemed to be closer than it actually was. I´m running way too long already and the forest is still far away from me. And that is when the thing happens. The thing I hoped wouldn´t happen. But it happens.

They find me.

Shit! I hear a noise behind me.

Get the Girl! another noise is practically yelling. 

I try to run even faster. The bag is heavy and slowing me down. I´m fighting against it. Even though I know I´m as good as dead now. The first gunshots start cutting through the air. But they don´t hit me yet. I continue fighting. I continue running. But I can feel how much the bag slows me down. And the forest comes closer. And the bag slows me down even more. 

Am I actually getting slower? Or does it just feel like it? And I try to run faster again. And the forest is so close. And my legs feel like giving in. And I´m almost in the forest. Ten more meters. Five. Three. Two. And I´m there. I dive into the bushed immediately. 

I take off my bag. I open it fast. I take out the small bag. The small bag of the most important supplies to help me survive for now. And just for a moment there is are thoughts in my mind. Am I dying any ways? Will I starve to death if I don´t get shot? Is there even a chance of surviving? But only for a second. Then I get back up. The small and light bag over my shoulder. And I start running again. I start running further into the forest. I start running further away from the soldiers.

Where is she? I hear in the noise of one of the men.

I am glad I don´t have noise. I am glad not to have myself being exposed right now. I am glad I´s able to hide. I keep on running through the trees and bushes. I keep my cover. I keep on hearing the men´s steps behind me. 

And thought´s keep on crossing my mind. Is dying more comfortable if you get shot then when you starve? It pretty sure is! And I´m close to the road. I could just leave my covers. Die the less painful death! Is it? Is it less painful? Would it be clever?

But I keep on running through the forest. And I keep my cover. But I move closer to the road. Subconsciously. And I can´t seem to get rid them. They are still searching for me. And somehow they know my direction. 

There! a noise yells so loudly that I fall over.

I get back up within seconds. 

The first gunshot. I start running. I stay clear of the road. I don´t go further into the forest again. And I don´t even know why. 

The second gunshot. I flinch a little. I keep on running. I try to run even faster. My lungs start burning. Breathing gets hard. Almost impossible. 

The third gun shot. And I´m still running. Still trying to run faster. Trying to breath properly. And failing to breath properly. 

The fourth gunshot. Pain shoots through my body. Pain shoots through my body every time I put my left leg down. My left leg is giving up underneath the weight of my body. Underneath the pain from the spot the bullet hit. I stumble through the forest. I can´t run properly. I keep on falling over. I keep on doing my best to get back up. I´m gasping for air. This is it! This is how I´m going to die. 

The fifth gunshot. Pain shoots through my body again. I collapse onto the ground. The bullet hit the side of my stomach. I´m laying on the ground. Next to the road. Half covered by a bush. My head turned to the side. My eyes closed. I don´t have the strength any more. 

The soldiers come up to me. I can tell by their noises. I can´t hear anything from it. I only heard them getting louder. And I´m trying to breath. And I can´t really breath. The soldiers reached me. I think. I don´t move. One of them is kicking me. I still don´t move. 

“I think we can stop here! She´s gonna bleed out sooner or later,” one of them says. 

It sounds like it´s coming from the other side of a wall. It is like the world around me starts to fade. But the soldiers are leaving. 

I gather all the strength I have left and take off my hairband. I put it over the wound on my leg. I put a stick in between the two layers to pressure it. I can´t tell if it´s working or not. I put my hand onto the wound on my stomach. And I put pressure on it. Hoping it will stop the wound from bleeding. I could still feel the blood running through my fingers. 

Is this how I´m going to die? Bleeding out next to the road? Probably scaring the next person passing. This isn´t a comfortable death. This is a painful death. A slow death. I feel myself drift into unconsciousness slowly. Too slowly. 

From far there is a noise nearing. I can barely hear it. But it is there. Maybe a soldier. Maybe someone who will stop me from suffering. The noise is getting louder. Not significantly louder. But it´s getting louder. 

Suddenly I feel my head being lifted up. The hand over the wound on my stomach falls onto the ground from the movement. The person with me starts talking to me. But I´m not able to hear what he is saying. I feel the pressure on my stomach coming back. But it isn´t my hand that puts pressure on it. It is theirs. The noise fades. I feel myself getting weaker and weaker. Slowly the world around me is fading into endless blackness.


	4. Chapter 3

I wake up to the sound of noise. But I wake up. I survived. And I don´t know how. But I did. I am still alive. Am I? Maybe, this is how death feels. But the upcoming pain shows me that I am alive. The pain that is not as bad as it was when I passed out. I manage to open my eyes. I´m trying to figure out where I am. I´m trying to figure it out from the surroundings. A small light comes from my right. It lights up the room. Enough to see I´m laying on a bed. But not enough to see who is here with me. If the person who´s noise I hear is even in here. Or the animal. Or maybe a spackle. Animals don´t really think much now. My surroundings are getting clearer. Even the noise starts to get clearer. 

And for the first time in a while I am able to hear it. To hear what it is saying. To hear what, whoever is here in this room, is thinking. But it´s not the noise of someone who´s awake. It´s their sleeping noise. It´s a dream. I don´t hear words. I only see pictures. And I feel what the they feel. I get completely covered in the noise. 

My surroundings start to blur and I find myself in a small town. Their noise is quite strong. I´ve never met someone who was able to cover up everything close to them with their noise. I have also never been in the town I´m in right now. It´s near a swamp from the smell. It´s really small as well. But that´s from their knowledge, not mine. Nothing compared to Haven. I feel a lot younger too. It seems to be a memory. 

Suddenly, a woman walks into the room we are in. The one who´s noise I´m hearing and seeing, it´s a boy. Or a men. Maybe the person who came to me before I passed out. From the feeling I can tell it´s his mother. She is beautiful. I feel a feeling of safety. A feeling of love. A feeling of being home. And though it´s just the boys feelings, I feel the same. The boy is sharing his feelings with me. The woman is moving her mouth but I can´t hear her voice. Then she is hugging the boy. She is hugging me too. Because I see it through the eyes of the boy. Even though I never had a mum, this feels comfortable and like home. The way it used to feel, when I was with my dads.

When she´s moving away I can see her crying. And I feel sadness. I feel fear. The boys sadness and fear. It makes me want to cry. I don´t even know why she was crying. I don´t know why we are sad. I don´t know why we are scared. And I know that something bad is going to happen. But I don´t know what. But I feel the fear growing. I feel it growing more and more. I feel like I am going to have a panic attack if he doesn´t stop on growing fear. But the whole thing starts to get even worse. I can´t hear or see it, but I know that a door had just been opened.

I am the circle and the circle is me shoots through my head. 

As loud and clear and painful as if someone just punched it into my mind. Exactly into the middle. Exactly into my thoughts. As if someone was in my head, trying to tell me something. If I was standing, I would´ve broken down right in that moment from the heaviness of those words. And I´m terrified. Even worse than before. The words aren´t the thing that scares me. It´s the feeling that comes with them. I feel small. I feel vulnerable.

And a man steps inside. I can feel who he is. I can feel it´s the boys dad. And the boy turns around. The boy turns to face the man. And my breath stops the second I see him. I have to leave! I have to leave right now! A million thoughts come to my head. I´m not able to hear a single one. It´s a mess. And my heart is pounding so hard I can barely hear anything. 

I jump onto my feet. Within seconds pain shoots through my body. Only pain. I collapse onto the ground. I scream. I can´t even see anything through the pain any more. The dream around me fades. I woke him up. I´m dead. Now I am. The world starts disappearing again. I feel his presence coming closer. He puts a hand onto my mouth to stop me from screaming. And then I hear his voice.

“Stop screaming, girl! Yer gonna wake everyone!,” he hisses. 

I relax a little and stop screaming. I don´t actually now why. He takes his hand off my mouth. Then he lifts my head again. As the world starts to reappear, I am finally able to see him a little bit better. He has brown hair and his eyes seem to be a light colour. I can´t see the exact colour though. He has something that looks like it´s supposed to be a moustache but isn´t quite one yet. He isn´t smiling at me, but he doesn´t seem threatening either. I feel myself relaxing a little more.

“Please let go of me!,” I say and try to sound confident.

My voice is hoarse and quiet. The boy still hears me. But he doesn´t let go. He doesn´t let go of me. I can´t get away.

“Yer shot! I ain´t gonna let you leave!,” he answers.

“Why are you doing this? Just kill me already, I don´t know anything about anything!,” I exclaim.

My voice is still really quiet but you were able to hear the anger.

“I ain´t gonna kill you! Why´d I do that?,” he asks with a confused look on his face.

And I feel myself calming down even more. Maybe this isn´t how I´m going to die. Maybe tonight isn´t the night I´m going to die. And maybe, he isn´t the one to kill me. He doesn´t seem like a killer. But I don´t want to trust him. Even though that´s all I can do right now, isn´t it? I should try to trust the person who saved my life. But I won´t.

“You´re his son!,” I state.

And I´m thinking of him. I´m thinking of the president. I´m thinking of the man who brought me into this position. And I´m thinking of the boy. The boy who saved my life after his dads men shot me. And the trust grows.

“I ain´t nothing like pa,” he yells angrily. 

I flinch a bit from his sudden aggression. He realizes his mistake immediately.

“Sorry. I´m Davy,” he introduces himself and just for a second, there was a small smile on his face.

“I´m Myra. And I´m in a bit of pain,” I respond, taking a deep breath.

I regret it immediately because of the upcoming pain in my stomach. Davy realizes. He puts one hand underneath my knees. His other hand is on my upper back. He lift´s me up and back onto the bed.

“Sorry, didn´t bring no painkillers. I´m gonna get yer some in the morning,” he says. 

And now, he really looks like he is sorry. He pulls the blanket over my body. Then he lays back down on the blanket across the room. 

Myra is filling Davy´s noise.

“You can´t have my name all over your noise! That´s suspicious,” I say quietly. 

But in his noise, he is still saying my name. And I start to feel safer. And even through the pain, his noise saying my name and the feeling of safety puts me to sleep.


	5. Chapter 4

Next time I wake up I covered in two blankets. I´m sure it was only one at night. But maybe Davy brought me another one. Which I´m grateful for. Because it is freezing outside. Carefully I pull the blankets closer to my body. But even with me being careful, it still hurts a lot. I´m not able to move at all without being in pain.

A light comes through the window next to me. It lights up the room and I´m finally able to see the room. The whole room is wooden. It looks like it only has two rooms. A look through the window tells me we are in the middle of the forest. Or any forest on this planet. I don´t know. Because, how long was I asleep? How far away from the city has he brought me? But from him telling me to be quiet or I´ll wake up the whole city I guess I´m not too far from it. 

I´m laying on a bed. The only bed in this cabin. But there is something at the other side of the cabin. A blanket and a pillow. So Davy has been sleeping on the floor during the past day. Or days. Because I can´t tell how long I´ve been here either. Next to my bed there is a table. On the table is a glass of water. The promised painkillers aren´t there though. 

My bag lays on the table next to the glass. A wooden chair is next to it. There were some cloth on it. I don´t recognize them, so I think it´s Davy´s. There is a small sink and a counter next to an old refrigerator that probably doesn´t even work any more. In the other room is probably the bathroom. The last thing in the room is a lamp. But that one doesn´t seem to work either.

By the time my thoughts drift off to my family again. And for the first time since he took over, I think about what happened after. And not about how life was before that. Are they still alive? Do they serve the army? Would they actually kill girls? Because, the army does, don´t they? After all, the army tried to kill me. Me. A girl of Haven. A girl of New Prentisstown. My brother wouldn´t serve them. He is younger then me. About eight years. I can´t imagine the army would have kids serving. 

But maybe my pa´s do. Maybe to survive. Certainly only to survive. Would they hurt woman though? Would they? Are they even alive? And do they wonder where I am? Are they worried? Are they looking for me? Do they think I´m dead? Did the soldiers tell them they killed me? Are they not looking for me any more because they think I´m dead? Or did he kill them? Did he have his men kill them? 

When I start to hear the noise, I´ve just been awake for a short period of time. At first I´m scared. Maybe, someone will find me here. I don´t stand a chance. I can´t even move. But the noise comes closer and I feel better immediately. It´s his noise. Now not filled with my name like last night. Which is good. 

God damn pigpiss and stupid animals is his noise saying.

I figure out pretty fast that pigpiss is a nickname. I don´t know for who though. But apparently him and pigpiss had to watch over animals. Not a job I could imagine Davy in. Quiet and hidden I can also hear him longing for his fathers attention. And for his father to be proud of him. And I can feel him raging in his noise over the attention his father is giving this pigpiss. And far, far away I feel like I was able to hear pigpiss actual name. Just for a second. But it was there.

Todd. Mr. Hewitt.

And there is something else. But it´s not Davy. There is someone or something with him. Their noise doesn´t sound like the noise of a man. So it has to be the noise of an animal. 

Submit! Submit! it´s noise says over and over again.

It doesn´t take long until the door opens and Davy walks in. He looks at me, seeing I´m awake. His face looks as unsatisfied as last night. Not a smile cracks through his straight face. But I feel safer. 

“Yer better?,” he asks.

I nod for a second, but again pain creeps through my body. I groan. Then I shake my head which is causing even more pain. I feel tears coming up. I can´t move. I can´t do anything. And I hate it. I hate it so much. 

“I´ve got yer painkillers. How long you´ve been awake?,” he now wants to know.

“Not for long,” I answer shortly. 

My voice is still quiet and weak. Davy puts the painkillers next to me before he walks over to the sink. He turns on the water and I wonder how the water is even still working. His noise changes. In his noise there is the comfort now. And pictures of his father. Pictures of his father on a horse in his uniform looking proud. And I feel how much Davy wants this to happen. 

“I think he killed them,” I say with my weak voice and I have to fight the urge to cry.

Davy turns around. His noise starts to ask before he even opens his mouth.

Who killed who? and at rare times a small Myra is covering up all of his noise now.

“Your father. I think he killed my family,” I say almost voiceless.

And I´m crying. I can´t stop crying. Though it really hurts. I can´t stop imagining them. Thinking of them. Thinking of how he might have shot them. Or them being in the same uniform you´ve just seen his father in.

“Pa never killed anyone from Haven. ´Cause they surrendered.”

“How do I know you´re not lying? How do I know they are still alive?”

“Gonna look for ´em and bring ´em here! I promise!”

And by his noise I can tell that he is telling me the truth. And I tell him about my family. I tell him what they look like. And I hope. I hope for them to return. 

Davy gives me the painkillers and a glass of water.

“Yer gonna fall asleep pretty fast. Promise I´ll stay here all night and keep you save,” he then says. 

He doesn´t look like the person who would say this. But he did. And I try to believe him. I swallow the painkiller and drink the water. Davy is sitting on the chair which he pulled next to me and stays there until I finally drift off to sleep.


	6. Chapter  5

When I wake up again Davy is still with me. He doesn´t sit next to me any more, but he´s still in the cabin. Or again. I don´t know how long I´ve been out. He´s in the kitchen corner. It looks like he´s preparing some bread. I groan slightly. For the first time it´s not because I´m in pain, because I´m not, but because my sight is blurry. I feel a little feverish too. Davy turns around, looking at me being up. His voice lightens up slightly. As soon as he realizes that it is, he´s hiding it again. 

“How long have I been asleep?,” I ask, realizing my voice is doing a lot better then before.

“Two days. How yer feeling?,” he asks which is supported by worry in his noise.

I think for a second. Do I tell him about the possibility of me having fever? Because having fever means my injury resulted in an infection. I don´t want him to worry about me. And it means that Davy can´t take care of me any more. That Davy has to get a healer for me. And for that, I would need to get back to Haven. Because Davy isn´t really good as a healer. All he did was giving me painkillers.

“I´m a lot better,” I say, smiling at him.

“Yer hungry? I don´t have enough for both, but you must be hungry, so you can have mine,” Davy responds.

I nod. Davy walks over and hands me the bread. I feel how hungry I actually am. It´s been a long time since I was actually able to eat properly. Davy helps me sitting up before taking a seat next to me. While I´m eating, all there is is Davy´s noise swirling through the room. 

He´s thinking about him and this boy, Todd, watching over the Spackle while they´re working. And I don´t support what they are doing, but the Spackle look fine in his noise. So maybe they are. 

And I see words from a book. A book a mother wrote to her son. And I feel Davy´s jealousy. It isn´t his mum writing to him. 

And he´s thinking about his horse. Deadfall. It´s not a name for a horse. But it is Davy´s horse and he can of course name it Deadfall. 

And he´s thinking about his father. How his father is always fond of Todd. How his father hardly shows that he is proud of anything his son has done. How his father is always telling him to shut up. How his father is shooting flashes of noise towards him because he wanted him to shut up. 

And for the first time, I feel really sorry. I feel sorry for getting mad at Davy. He is nothing like his father. He is just like every other son. He tries to make his father proud.

“I´m sorry,” I say quietly.

Davy looks up. He was caught up in his thoughts and didn´t realize I listened to them as well. I see confusion rising in his noise.

“I´m sorry about being so scared of you. I´m sorry for saying those things about your father,” I add.

Davy nods: “It´s fine. Yer right. Pa can be dangerous. But he´s the only one I´ve got left. I ain´t have no one else.”

“But, maybe, pa actually killed people. I were looking for yer family. I couldn´t find ´em. I´m sorry,” he adds after a short pause.

“Don´t worry about it. I thought so already,” I say, looking down a little and try to hide my sadness.

“I worry ´bout it. I ain´t want you to be sad,” he says.

And for the first time in a while, he is smiling. And it´s an honest smile he doesn´t try to hide. He´s smiling at me. 

“You´ve got me,” I say.

“We´ve got each other,” he says. 

And we both smile. And there is no pain left. We´ve got each other. It´s just us right now. And maybe, just for once since he took over, life doesn´t seem so dark any more. Because, I´m not alone. Neither of us is. And there is a feeling I haven´t had in a long time. I feel hope. I know there is hope. As long as we stick together, there is hope for a happy end.

“Davy?,” I ask, having an idea in mind. 

He looks at me.

“I want to move. The pain is gone, I just want to walk again,” I say, hoping for his help.

“I don´t know.”

“Please!”

I see the worry in Davy´s noise, but he helps me. I put my arm around his should and he lifts me onto my feet. Then I start walking forward. With his help. The pain in my leg is gone and in my stomach there is just a slight sting. 

After I´ve been walking a little, I take my arm back. I try to stand by myself. And I do. I stand on my own feet. I stand without breaking down in pain. I stand without help. I stand. I smile brightly at Davy before trying to take steps without his help.

I stumble immediately, having Davy rushing to my side and catching me before I can hit the ground. 

“Maybe, that´s all for today,” he says.

I shake my head. It´s not. If he´s gone and someone is here, it would be good if I was able to walk. And in his noise I can see he knows that as good as I do. He puts me back onto my feet. Then he lets go of me and nods. I try to walk again. And I stumble again. And Davy catches me again. But I don´t give up. And eventually it is working. 

His noise has an excited tone and he looks at me happy. And his noise shows pride. He´s proud because I won´t give up. And he´s proud I did it. And it makes me feel proud of myself. And for the first time I can really see why his fathers approval is so important for him. It makes him feel more valuable than he think he is. 

“I´m proud of you! You supported me. I couldn´t have done it without you!,” I say.

And I swear, I´ve never seen a noise as blinding as his right now.


	7. Chapter 6

The days are a lot better from now on. Davy is staying with me for the night, but has to leave over the day. He brings painkillers and bread for me every night. I can feel myself coming back to life. But just mostly. The fever is getting worse and worse from day to day. 

But I´m not telling Davy. I don´t want him to worry even more. I´ve gotten an infection. And my chances to survive aren´t that high. Maybe, one day he´s just coming back and I´m dead. Or he´s waking up and I´m dead. But he can´t worry about me. Because if he would, it would make it worse. 

But even with the fever I feel my strength growing from day to day. Since I tried walking, I´ve been walking around day for day and it´s getting better every time I try. 

And though Davy is usually annoyed from work and Todd and his dad and the spackle, I can see his noise lighten up as soon as he sees me. 

And I feel good about that. Even though, he tries to hide that he likes to see me. And he is even still looking for my family, though I don´t believe in him finding them. 

But he´s found the spackle woman who used to live with us. Only subconsciously though. I didn´t tell him about her, but I´ve seen her in his noise. And she was alive. And they were treated bad. But I believe in her being able to get through it. She is strong. And I just know she can. And she seems to be close to Davy all the time. I see her in his noise almost every night. 

But tonight is different. I can see his noise flashing in several emotions. He´s proud, he saved someone and he´s amused by something that happened. And, there is something, though it´s weak, but I think it´s fear. Something must have happened. 

And when he walks into the room, everything goes blank. He´s limping. He has broken his leg. I can almost feel the pain. It´s so strong in his noise. And he is still walking. Or at least he´s trying to. 

The proud in his noise comes from the fact, that he saved someone´s life. And, I can´t see properly, but it seems to be Todd. And I can barely see what happened. But it´s there. It´s so close. It´s the Spackle. They attacked Davy and whoever this Todd boy is. And Davy shot a few of them, trying to defend himself and Todd. And I can totally see why. Their life depended on it. And it wasn´t mine. 

It was someone else's though. But not her. Though she isn´t mine any more. But I just know that she would never put on a fight. But today, I don´t see her in his noise. And I just hope she is still alive. 

But after all, I could understand why he was proud. He saved that boys life. And that´s something to be proud of. 

But then I see why he´s amused. And I feel my eyes tearing up. And I feel my stomach turn upside down. I want to throw up. I want to scream and shout at Davy. I want to punch him. 

And he looks at me. And I can tell from his noise he doesn´t know what is going on. And I can tell from the look in his eyes, that he doesn´t. 

And I´m desperate. Because he can´t see his own mistakes. He doesn´t see torturing a Spackle as a mistake. He looked at him. Watched him suffocate. He watched him. And he laughed. Of course he did. Because it was all Davy´s idea. And now, I can see why the Spackle attacked. And I know they were right to attack.

“You´re a monster,” I say quietly.

He looks at me. Usually, I´d say hello, ask him about his day and hug him. Today I sit on my bed. 

I´m quiet, just watching him. I´m listening to his noise. 

And in his noise, he´s is wondering about me. He´s wondering about my reaction. He is wondering why I´m not proud. He is wondering why I´m crying. And he just doesn´t get it. He doesn´t get why I´m upset. 

“What yer talking about? I ain´t done nothing!,” he asks confused.

“You killed that Spackle. Are you proud of that? Are you proud of letting them suffer? Are you proud of laughing about it? Are you? Are you proud?,” I respond aggressively.

His noise starts to rumble. I can´t see anything in it any more. It´s just a big mess. He´s thinking about how to explain. But there is nothing. I can tell he has just done it, because he thought it was funny. And he looked at me.

“They´re just effing animals. They ain´t worth nothing,” he says. 

And I feel myself burning up on the inside. I get onto my feet, walking up to Davy. And he´s taller than me. And right now, I don´t effing care. 

“Just animals? Are you kidding me? Because, you ain´t human either! You are a monster. I can´t even look at you, Davy! You murderer!,” I yell at him.

I don´t break the eye contact. But I feel myself crying even more now. From the rage. And I don´t know when my voice got so much stronger. And I still feel the rage. My pulse is up. I hear my heart beat. And I still stand in front of Davy. And in his noise, I can hear that he also did it because of his dad. And that doesn´t excuse anything. 

Effing bitch, he is thinking.

And I don´t care. I really don´t care about it. And in his noise I see how hurt he is. How he hoped I´d understand him.

“Davy, I really thought you aren´t like your father. You saved my life. You tried to help me. But now I see that you are exactly like him!,” I say.

And in his noise, I see his feelings raging. And I feel sorry. Just a little bit. Because I shouldn´t have said that. But it´s too late. And suddenly it all happens really fast. 

Effing bitch, his noise say again, followed by an I should have let you die.

And he is pushing me before leaving. And until now I didn´t know how strong he is. I wasn´t that secure on my feet anyway. 

I stumble back from the impact. I´m loosing my balance. Within seconds, my head hits something hard. The bed. And I fall onto the ground next to it. My vision blurs, but I don´t pass out. I´m not able to move. I´m not able to speak. And I´m still conscious. And I don´t know what is going to happen. Because Davy isn´t coming back.

Die is in his noise as he´s riding away. 

And I don´t know what to do now.


	8. Chapter 7

I´m awake all night. I can´t see properly, but I don´t pass out either. I just lay there, on my back, in front of the bed. When steps come up to the cabin I´m just barely awake. I´m completely exhausted. And there is a noise. Which I can´t place. It´s far away. And I really start to get annoyed by this. Because this isn´t the first time. The person enters the cabin and I feel him coming up to me. 

“Shit,” he mutters.

And I recognize his voice. But it can´t be. Why would he? And he lifts up my head. I want to talk to him. I want to ask him why he´s here. I want to look at him. I want to read his noise. But I´m so close to passing out, I can´t do either. His noise sounds like it´s miles away. And I can´t speak or see. But even if I can´t hear his noise, he is worried. He is worried about me. Though I wouldn´t be here without him. I feel him putting pressure on the back of my head. The place that hit the bed. And I don´t know what he´s doing, but the pain fades and a warmth starts to grow in that place. And I can feel myself coming back to reality. 

When I hear his noise, I can hear it´s a mess. He´s sorry for what he did. All of it. And I´m still mad. About the fact, that he tortured a Spackle. About the fact he came here wanting me to be proud of that. About the fact he was amused about it. About the fact that he pushed me. About the fact that he came back and hoped I would forgive him. But he came back. So maybe, he realized he was mistaken. Maybe, he really does realize it. 

He lifts me up and puts me back on the bed. Then, he says sorry again and leaves then cabin. And maybe, he doesn´t realize he´s made a mistake after all. The pain on the side of my head subsides and I drift to sleep which I didn´t get at night.

When I wake up again, I feel something holding my hand. And I hear noise all around me. It is so powerful, I know it is Davy. I´m finally able to open my eyes again. Davy is sitting on the floor next to the bed, his head turned away from me. He still holds my hand. I smile and squeeze it. My reaction makes him flinch and he turns around, looking at me. And I see his eyes. Swollen and red. He has been crying. I didn´t think he would ever cry. His noise is a big mess of words and feelings. He is worried. He is glad I´m awake. And he is sorry. And I don´t think I´m mad. But I don´t know what to think about it either.

“I´m sorry. I´m stupid. I ain´t should´ve done none of that. I´m sorry I hurt you. I´m sorry about what I´ve done to the Spackle. I just wanted to get pa´s attention. I didn´t realize that I was hurting some ones feeling. And I do understand if you won´t forgive me,” he says.

And I can feel him meaning every single word he said. I feel his feelings towards me. And I don´t want to confess, but I feel the same. I´m not mad. And I hate myself. Because Davy has done some bad things. But I´m not mad. And I should be mad. But his noise is saying the words over and over again. And I want to forgive him. I want to believe him, when he´s saying, he won´t do that again. And I sit up on the bed.

“Davy,” I simply say, not actually sure how to answer.

But I think he knows what I was going for. He hugs me. And I know, he knows I´ve forgiven him. 

“This can´t happen again. If it does, you will loose me,” I say.

“I´m rather with you than getting pa´s attention,” Davy replies.

And there it is again. His smile. The smile he is usually hiding. And it´s there. But again, just for a moment. And I smile too. Because, though I hate to admit it, it´s actually cute. And the feeling of safety returns. 

“Yer hungry, right? Brought you some food,” Davy says, unpacking his backpack.

It´s different to the last weeks. He´s brought a container with soup, not bread like the days before. And I´m really thankful for that. I sit up. He hands me the container with a spoon before sitting down on the chair next to the bed I´m sitting in. I don´t really like him watching me eating, but I enjoy his company. I´ve been alone often and I like it better if I´m not. Especially since I lost my family. As I finish, Davy takes the container and walks over to the sink to wash it up.

“How is your leg?,” I ask making Davy turn away from the sink.

“Don´t worry, it will heal,” he answers, turning back towards the dishes.

“I am worried. As much as you are usually worried. It´s just,” I take some time to breath in. 

“I really like you.”

Davy stops everything. He drops the container, which is falling to the ground. I flinch back from the loud noise. He turns around.

“That´s the painkillers. Yer just tired, just try to get some sleep, we talk tomorrow. I mean, why else´d you say that?,” he asks nervous. 

His noise is even messier then usually. I feel his feelings towards me a lot stronger then last time. He likes me too. The same way that I like him. But he´s thinking if I actually meant that. He doesn´t really believe me. Of course, affection is probably not something he has been experiencing much, but I meant every word I said. I mean every word.

“I would say that, because it´s the truth. I like you, Davy Prentiss. I really, really like you,” I say.

He walks towards me. I take his hands into mine as soon as he´s close enough and squeeze them. And he looks straight into my eyes. Realizing I mean every word. 

“I like you too,” he whispers.

And it´s just him and me in this moment. I feel home. And I don´t feel alone. I´ve got him. I´ve got Davy. My Davy.


	9. Chapter 8

Over the past days, my fever has gotten stronger. Davy still doesn´t know, but I feel like I can´t keep it that way for much longer. He knows something is wrong and he´s worried any ways, I see it in his noise. I see it in his noise every time he looks at me. And I feel it as if they are my feelings. But I just can´t help it. I´m really not sure what to do, because I don´t know what will worry him more. And when he walks in to the cabin, I decide within a second what to do.

“Yer looking worse every day, ya sure yer alright?,” Davy asks as he looks at me.

“I´ve got a fever. I´ve been having it for a while, but I didn´t want you to worry, so I didn´t tell you. It´s just getting worse and I don´t know what to do about it, because I´ll die if it´s getting worse,” I explain and look at Davy, who´s looking more worried than ever.

“Why ain´t you tell me?,” he asks in shock.

He seems slightly mad too. Less at me, more at the fact that I didn´t tell him what was going on.

“Because I didn´t want you to worry! It´s been stressful enough, I didn´t mean to make it any worse!,” I explain.

Davy sits down on the chair next to me since I´m laying in bed again. He looks at me and I keep my eyes on him. I see things I haven´t been realizing before. He´s got a split lip and his eye is bruising a little. And I don´t know why I hadn´t seen it before. It seems only a few days old. 

“What happened to your face?,” I asked, trying to change the topic.

His noise is rumbling with his worry for me. And his care for me. And he cares for me a lot. And right now, he tries to find an explanation. And I hear every part of it in his noise. And I see this boy again. Pigpiss. Todd.

“Having noise makes you pretty bad at hiding things, Davy,” I chuckle.

“Pigpiss and I fought. But I ain´t hurt, so don´t worry. He´s not really strong,” Davy explains and in his noise I see that he´s lying.

“I know you´re lying. I can see it in your noise. Come on, you can talk to me,” I say trying to stay persistent.

“I´m fine. We have to take care of yer fever though,” he replies putting his hand onto my forehead.

“Davy, I don´t think that it does matter, I´m going to die. Let´s enjoy what´s left,” I tell him.

“Yer ain´t going to die while I´m here! Yer going to be fine!,” Davy says before heading to the kitchen counter.

“I have to steal things to help. Or I have to. But I ain´t gonna to let ya die!,” Davy says making me smile.

He walks back over to me with some bread in his hands. He hands it to me and sits down next to my bed. I sit up in bed and break the bread in half, so he can eat something as well. He always gives me his food and I feel bad about it, so I think it´s fair to give him a bit of bread.

“Yer sick, I ain´t gonna starve! You need to eat!,” Davy says giving me back the bread.

I don´t take it back though. I want him to eat it.

“Please, you have to eat as well!,” I answer.

“No, I ain´t gonna eat this. Yer gonna need the strength so you ain´t gonna die,” he keeps arguing.

I bite into my piece of bread. Maybe he is actually right. I don´t feel well. But I am gonna die, right? My fever is getting worse. We can´t do anything about it.

“Davy, I ain´t- I won´t make it make it. We would need a healer or their medications. We don´t have that. Please, just eat something,” I say.

“You need to eat. I ain´t gonna let you die, we´ll think of something,” Davy responds.

I nod. Even though the only way is for me to go back into the city. He knows it too. I can see it in the mess in his voice. Because we both know, even if he steals medications, it´s not gonna work. Because Davy isn´t a healer. And he doesn´t know what he´s doing with most things. And we both know that.

“Davy, we can´t. They´re going to kill me. They tried before,” I explain.

“I ain´t gonna let them touch you. We need to get help, yer going to die,” Davy replies.

I nodded. Because, he´s right. Of course he´s right. And I can see in his noise, how he´ll keep me safe. And I trust him. But I´m still scared. But even if they killed me, what difference would it make? I would die either way.

I breath out: “Fine. It´s just for the best.”

Davy nods and in his voice I can see that his happy that he can safe me. And proud. But also a little scared. And Myra is all over his voice again. And this time, it´s not that bad.

“Gonna talk to pa and then we can bring you into town,” Davy explains.

I flinched when he said that he was gonna talk to his dad first. His dad. His pa. President Prentiss. The person who´s guards shot me in the first place.

“Yer- I mean, your dad?,” I ask slightly scared. 

“Yer safe, I promise!,” Davy says again.

I nod. Though I don´t feel like I could be safe being around President Prentiss, Davy makes me feel like it might be possible.

“I wanna show yer something,” Davy says after a few minutes of sitting in silence.

Before I can react, he´s already lifting me out of bed. I put my arm around his shoulder and my head towards his head as he carries me out of the cabin.

“I can walk, you know?,” I ask as soon as we´re outside.

Davy puts me back onto my feet: “I´m sorry, just scared yer still hurt.”

I shake my head: “Just feverish, but not hurt any more! You did a good job taking care of me.”  
And Davy´s noise is blinding again. 

Good Job and she´s proud and my Myra is all over his noise.

And I smile. Because he is so proud that I´m proud. And he´s calling me his. His Myra. It´s the first time I´ve seen it in his noise, but it sounds amazing.

By the time we arrive I´m exhausted. I feel like asking him again to carry me, but there´s no need for that any more. We´re standing in front of a lake, the reflection of the two moons in it. Some mountains on the other side of the lake.

“This is amazing,” I whisper.

Davy takes my hand. My name is still all over his noise. He´s turning me around so I face him. I look him in the eyes. His noise is swirling around us, making everything seem like a dream. I can tell he´s nervous, but so am I.

“So are you,” Davy whispers towards me.

And he leans forward and presses his lips on mine. And I can´t react at first. He´s kissing me. And it feels like a million butterflies are tumbling around my stomach. And I kiss him back. And right now, nothing can come between us. It´s just me and Davy. My Davy. And the time stands still. And nothing could ever separate us. Safety. Though, this isn´t true, right now, I feel safe. And I feel like nothing can break this right now. I love you, Davy. I really love you, Davy Prentiss.


	10. Chapter 9

Today hasn´t been a good day. I feel exhausted and my fever is the worst it´s been in days. Without medications, I´ll probably die within a few days. But Davy wants to bring me into town today and maybe that´s the best we can do.

I´ve been awake for a few hours when I hear the noise of my Davy and his horse. Something is different today, I can also hear another horse. But no other man. And not the silence of a girl either. Maybe, the president started giving the cure to people. But why wouldn´t he give it to his son? But then again, I don´t know. I don´t know how he´s behaving towards others. I just know what Davy told me about him. And what I saw in Davy´s dreams. And it never seemed to be good.

I was still sitting in bed when Davy entered the cabin. Something was different today, he was almost as pale as me. But I couldn´t read anything in his noise, it´s all messy.

“You don´t look good,” Davy says as soon as he sees me.

“Charming, as always. But neither do you,” I reply.

Davy lifts me out of bed and kisses me, before carrying me outside. In front of the cabin, there is Davy´s horse, Acorn, as well as a second, more majestic horse. On top of the horse, I see him. The person I was most scared of. But, he looks almost friendly. President Prentiss was even smiling I think. Not sure whether he´s smiling at me or his son. Davy puts me onto my feet in front of his horse. Acorn kneels, giving me a chance to sit up. Davy gets onto his horse behind me and puts his arms around me. 

Exhaustion is taking over soon and I just lean back into Davy´s chest, trusting that he´ll keep me safe. I don´t really fall asleep, but I get to rest a little. I never realized how far away from the city we actually were. Davy told me when I started screaming the first night, how I´ll wake someone up, but I don´t think I could´ve. 

“Who is she, David?,” I hear President Prentiss asking.

It´s weird to hear someone call him David. Until now I didn´t even know this was his actual name. Davy was uncommon, but I think it could be a proper name.

“Myra,” Davy answers shortly.

I´m actually glad he doesn´t say more. I don´t want to trust President Prentiss. Him knowing too much could mean me loosing my family. If I ever find them again. Because, I don´t know if they´re still alive. Or where they are. But President Prentiss just leaves it there. He doesn´t keep asking about me. Or Davy and my relationship for that matter. But then again, I´m not sure. Maybe he knows about Davy and I liking each other. Maybe he doesn´t.

After a while, I can read Davy´s noise better. He´s thinking about me. Myra is crossing his mind the entire time. In the mess of his noise, I keep on seeing pictures from the other night at the lake. And our kiss. And I´m sure, President Prentiss sees it too. But he doesn´t say anything. And his noise is still blank, the same way it´s been since he arrived at the cabin.

By the time we arrive at the town, all I want to do is sleeping. I open up my eyes it sit back up, dizziness taking over immediately. Everything around me is slightly blurry. I can spot some people on horses, greeting us, or rather the president, as we arrive in New Prentisstown. As soon as the world around me gets clearer, I can see that most people around us don´t seem familiar. 

But then, I see him. And I can´t believe it. He´s there, sitting a horse. Wearing the same uniform as Davy. Staring at me like he can´t believe he´s seeing me either. Which is probably exactly what he does. Because I can´t believe it either. I´ve been already thinking he´s dead. That I´ll never see him again. But he´s just there.

“Myra?,” he asks in shock.

And Acorn kneels down. And this really can´t happen fast enough. And Davy gets off. The safety of his hands leaving my waist. Leaving me with a feeling of insecurity. But right now, that doesn´t matter. And Davy helps me off Acorn. And as soon as I´m on my feet, I start running. I don´t feel any pain. Or any fever. I just needed to get to him. And he´s getting off his horse. And he´s looking at me. And he´s waiting for me with open arms.

“Pa!,” I scream.

And then I reach him. And he´s just taking me into his arms. Into his embrace. And everything feels like it´s nothing. Home. This is home. And I can´t believe he´s still alive. But he´s there, just in front of me. Alive. And hugging me. And his warm, comforting noise surrounds me.

“Where were you?,” he asks, letting go of me after a bit.

“I left the town for a while. Davy saved my life and we lived in a cabin,” I explain, trying to keep it short.

I feel a hand on my shoulder. Davy is standing right behind me, the president is walking up to us too. 

My pa shakes Davy´s hand: “Thank you, son, for saving my angel.”

Davy´s noise is going bright and blinding again. 

“Yer welcome, Sir. I had to save yer daughter, when I found her shot-,” Davy stops immediately, realizing his mistake.

In my pa´s noise, questions start to form. And I can´t blame him. Because he just heard for the first time, that I was shot. 

“By who? Myra, who would shoot you?”

Before I can answer my pa, president Prentiss takes over: “I´m afraid my army did. I´m really sorry, the sergeants that were responsible were fired immediately. No one was supposed to be killed or even attacked.”

And I cringe. Because I don´t know if he´s being serious. I´m just confused. I really don´t know who to trust any more except my family and my boyfriend. And suddenly, the world starts spinning again, exhaustion is taking over and I collapse. The people around me gasp and come running. And then, I´m drifting.


	11. Chapter 10

When I wake up again, I feel a lot better. The fever has gone down and I´m by far not as exhausted as before. My leg and my stomach feel even better too. I almost feel as if nothing ever happened. And from the feeling of new bandages around my stomach and my leg, I can tell that Davy kept his promise. He actually saved my life. 

As I start to pay more attention to my surrounding, I can feel I´m in a bed. It´s really comfortable, I feel like I´m on a cloud. It´s really warm and different to the last bed I had. And I realize something else. The smell of animals. We have to be somewhere near a barn or similar. Opening my eyes, I can´t see much. It´s dark outside, the moons nowhere to be seen. Not much light, not even from the city, gets into the room. 

But there are noises. So many noises. It´s so different from the cabin. Even from New Prentisstown before I left. Noises are rumbling all around me. Noises of men. Noises of animals. Noises of Spackle. You couldn´t see or hear a single noise within the mess. It´s too far away. Too chaotic. But I feel Davy being close to me. I feel Davy´s noise. He´s there. Right beside me. And it makes me feel so safe. I´ve grown so used to hearing his noise all the time. And I´m so happy to hear it right now.

“Davy,” I whisper.

Nothing.

“Davy,” I try to say slightly louder.

Still nothing.

“Davy,” I decide to say in a normal voice.

I can´t hear any other noises as close to me as Davy´s, so I felt like it was safe to talk slightly louder.

Suddenly I hear Myra. Loud and clear in his noise. The rumbling mess is clearing up, words and thoughts becoming clearer. I actually woke him up. And I don´t know why, but I feel even more comfortable. I can tell from his noise, that he doesn´t know what´s going on yet. He´s still waking up, trying to realize the situation. But then, he´s awake.

“Myra! Yer okay?,” he asks.

There is a bit of panic in his noise and in his voice. He´s worried about me. But of course he would be. I must´ve worried him a lot during the past weeks because I was so sick.

“I´m alright, Davy. I just needed to know for sure, that you´re here.”

“I´m always here.”

I smile. He is. He´s always here. Always near. Davy is always near me. My Davy. And suddenly, I just want to hug him and never let go again.

“Davy?,” I ask quietly, scared he might´ve fallen asleep again.

“Myra?,” he asks back in a normal tone.

“Can you come here?”

Confusion is building up in his noise. He doesn´t know, what I mean or what I want him to do. Question over question is readable in his noise.

“I just want you to sleep next to me,” I tell him.

I hear him shuffling. Then I can feel my blanket being lifted up. I feel Davy next to me, putting one of his arms around me and him snuggling up to me. I smile and close my eyes again. I just take in the situation and eventually, I fall back asleep.

Next time I wake up, it´s because Davy is moving. I open my eyes and turn around. Davy is still lying there, looking me in the eyes and smiling. And I just kiss him. Because he´s just there. Looking at me. And then, the moment is over again. And I wish it lasted longer, because I never want him to go. I never want to be alone again.

BOOM.

I sit up immediately, pushing Davy out of the bed in the progress. With a small thud he crashes onto the floor. 

Those effing bitches is covering his noise.

“What was that?,” I ask, still shaking.

Davy sits back up looking at me: “Bombs. Women are bombing the town.”

“Why are they doing that?”

Davy shrugs: “Don´t know”

Then he gets up. He walks over to one of the windows and I use the daylight to look around the room. The windows aren´t even covered with glass. The animal noises are still loud and clear. And it smells like animals too. But now I can tell, that we´re not near a barn. We´re in it. The entire room is wooden, hardly anything in it. The bed I´m still sitting in, a small box, Davy´s saddle, a chair and a table. 

“Why did you decide to live in a barn?,” I ask suddenly, looking over to the window where Davy still stands and looks outside.

“Didn´t. My pa decided I should sleep here,” I answers.

I look confused. Why would his pa, the president, who´s living in a cathedral, let his only son sleep in a barn with the animals? And I realize how amazing our cabin must´ve been for Davy. No animal noises, the windows had glass, we had our own kitchen and you couldn´t smell the animals as much. And the nature was gorgeous. 

Before I can ask, Davy takes his cloths and looks at me: “I have to work, I´m really sorry.”

I nod: “It´s alright. What exactly are you doing right now? You looked really pale last night.”

Davy stays quiet. His noise is rumbling again, but I can hardly see anything. Pictures of women. The don´t look happy, but I can never see them for long enough, to actually be able to tell, what is going on.

“Davy?,” I ask again.

He looks at me, almost as pale as the night before. And he still stays quiet. And by now I know there is something really wrong. But we´re just standing there. No one is talking. We´re just staring. And he´s the one that´s pale. The one that´s looking scared. And upset. And I really don´t understand what is wrong.

Until he starts talking: “We had to brand women.”


	12. Chapter 11

And I´m in shock. I can understand why he´s so pale. I´ve seen the branding. I´ve seen him brand Spackle. I´ve seen it in his noise before. It´s also the way he killed the Spackle. And I´m really hoping, that he´ll never to that to a woman. But he wouldn´t, would he? No, not my Davy. And I´m just as pale as he is now. 

“Are you- Do you have- Do I have to be branded?,” I´m asking, voice shaking. 

Davy comes over to me and takes me into his arms immediately. 

“Never. I won´t let ´em,” he says right away.

We just stand there for a bit, him still hugging me. I don´t want him to go, I just want to stay here. Stay in Davy´s arms.

“David?,” I can hear president Prentiss from downstairs.

Davy lets go of me. 

“You okay here on yer own?,” he asks.

I nod: “I can´t leave the barn, can I?”

Davy looks at me. I can hear the no and you won´t be safe loud and clear in his noise.

“I´ll tell yer pa where you are,” Davy says before leaving me alone.

I sit back down on the bed. I can hear Davy and his pa talking before they leave. I can hear my name in Davy´s noise long after they leave. The animals are covering most the barn in their noise as soon as Davy and his pa are out of reach. I can still hear a small rumble from the city´s noise. It´s almost like it´s used to be when I lived with my pa´s. And thinking about it, I want it back to the way it used to be. Before he came and took over the city. And at the same time, I don´t. Because life without Davy wouldn´t be the same. But then again so many things wouldn´t have happened without the new president. And without knowing Davy.

Suddenly, I hear a noise getting louder again. It´s coming towards the barn. At first I feel like freaking out, but suddenly, I realize who´s noise it is. And I jump up, running towards the ladder down to the barn. On the way I start wondering. My leg isn´t in pain at all. Neither is my stomach. Apparently, all we needed was someone who know what they´re doing. I look down to the entrance of the barn.

“Pa!,” I say. 

He looks up to me and smiles before coming up to the ladder. When he climbed all the way up, we sit down next to each other, our legs dangling over the edge.

“How are you feeling, angel?,” pa asks me right away.

“A lot better. It´s really helpful to have a proper healer helping. But after all, Davy kept me alive, so he deserves credit too.”

“I don´t even want to believe that I almost lost you too.”

I look at him, afraid of what´s going to happen next: “Too?”

He looks away. When he looks back, I can see some tears in his eyes. He´s trying really hard not to cry, but he can´t help it. And obviously this isn´t good. Because I´ve never really seen him cry.

“They separated me and Gale from Marcus too. We haven´t seen him since, I don´t even know if he´s still alive. He´s only eight, I don´t know if he can survive on his own,” he explains.

Gale, my other father and Marcus, my younger brother. He was eight years younger than me and I´ve always tried to help taking care of him. But he´s on his own now. And I understand why my pa is worried. But he isn´t done.

“And-,” he´s breaking down, tears running down his face.

And I don´t know what to do. I don´t know what´s wrong. I have never seen him cry. I don´t know how to react. So I put my arm around him and get closer to him. He puts his arm around me shoulder too.

“It´s just me and you, angel,” he says. 

And I kind of understand what he means, but I don´t. I look at him, a bit of confusion in my eyes.

“Gale- he was working as a sergeant too. He was- He got- He was killed during the bombing.”

And I feel my lungs tightening. It´s burning. It stings. I can´t breath properly. Everything is clenching. I just want to throw up. I feel tears coming up. But I don´t even feel like crying. I just sit there, staring towards the door. Pa is pulling me closer. I put my head onto his shoulder. I can feel him slightly shaking. In his noise pictures of my other father. Pictures of the bombing. And I don´t want to see it. But he can´t help it. And I don´t tell him to stop. And we sit there for a long time. I can´t say how long. It feels okay not being alone right now. 

“We´ve still got each other, angel. I won´t let anything happen to you,” he whispers after a while.

I just nod.

“Davy is a good boy, I know that we can get through this. Nothing will happen to us.”

I nod again: “We´ll be alright.”

My voice is quiet, almost breaking. Suddenly I hear a voice down by the entrance. I look down and see the president. I jump a little.

“I´m sorry, Sergeant Foster, but you need to get back to work,” he says, looking up.

And he sounds like he actually is. Like he actually is sorry for breaking this up. Dad is hugging me one last time before he´s climbing back down.

“Miss Foster, I´m glad your awake and alright!,” he then says towards me.

Him looking at me makes feel really uncomfortable, but he doesn´t actually seem threatening. He doesn´t seem like the person who ordered his men to shoot me. I try to smile slightly at him. My pa is looking back at me, sadness still in his eyes and then he´s gone. And I´m alone with the person I´ve been most terrified of for a really long time.

“Miss Foster, may I interest you in going on a walk with me?”


	13. Chapter 12

I can´t say I feel any better. Neither the air nor the freedom of walking around again made up for the fact, that president Prentiss was the one walking next to me. We haven´t been talking yet. We just walked through the square and through the streets. All those houses I used to know, the places I used to go, everything felt off. It all seemed different now. I can´t recognize my home town any more. It seems to have changed. And then ruins of places that have been bombed recently.

“My son has grown quite fond of you, hasn´t he?,” president Prentiss asks.

I nod: “I guess so, president Prentiss.”

“Call me David... that is, if I can call you Myra.”

I´m almost starstruck. I didn´t expect this to happen at all. And I don´t know how to react to it either. Because, calling this person David feels really off. But so does him calling me Miss Foster. But it´s best to stay on his good side after all I think.

“Sure, that´s alright with me. David,” I reply.

I leave room to breath before calling him David. Because I really don´t know if I should. Because it feels really wrong.

“You and Todd have had a really good influence on David, Myra,” president Prentiss says.

There it is again. Him calling his son David. Not Davy. Something else that bothers me is how he says my name. I can´t actually describe it, but it sounds off. It´s good a weird tone to it. I don´t reply, I just stay quiet. But president Prentiss doesn´t let me.

“You can ask my questions, Myra. I´m not the evil president that you think I am.”

And it feels so weird. I don´t have a noise. But it seems like he could read me. Just like an open book. And I don´t know why. 

“Who is Todd?,” I ask.

I know about him, Davy has mentioned him before. But president Prentiss request to ask questions wasn´t as much of a question. It was more like he demanded me to. And I´m still really scared of him.

“He´s a man from Prentisstown. He came here on his journey to become a man. And now he´s working with my son, David, as part of the army. To keep the city safe.”

I nod. Of course, keep the city safe. By branding Spackle. By branding women. How ever that is to keep the city safe. And then, he does it again. He reads my thoughts.

“They´re branding and interrogating women of the Answer. They´ve been captured bombing our beautiful town. I really don´t want to hurt them and they enjoy best medical care, but we have to keep an eye on them to stop the bombing. To keep our town safe,” he explains.

And I flinch. Because I don´t understand how he does that. I don´t understand how he knows exactly what I´m thinking. I finally understand how men must feel all the time. Never being able to keep anything a secret. And it feels just uncomfortable.

“You can trust me. I just want the best for our town and the new settlers,” he says.

I nod. I really don´t get how he always knows what I´m thinking.

“Why are the women bombing the town?,” I ask without even thinking.

“Fear. They´re scared of the new rules I needed to enforce to ensure peaceful living. They´re scared of the new settlers coming our way.”

They´re scared of their president.

“Settlers?”

“A girl called Viola arrived from a ship that´s hovering over New World. Millions of settlers are coming to New World.”

Millions of settlers. I can´t even imagine this many new faces on New World. I´ve never known everyone from New Prentisstown, by far not, but new settlers would change everything. Everything that´s left to change. 

After a while, we arrive back at the barn. It´s almost dinner time, I didn´t realize how fast the time went by. Davy is waiting by the barn, looking around worriedly. As soon as he sees me, he storms towards me, hugging me as soon as he reaches me.

“Where´ve you been?,” he asks immediately.

As soon as he lets go of me, I look back at his pa. He smiles at me. As scared as I was before, I have to admit, he´s different from the stories. And I don´t feel as uncomfortable around him any more. 

“I went on a walk with Myra. I figured she doesn´t want to sit inside all day.”

Davy looks at me and I nod. Because, David is right. I didn´t want to sit inside all day. And after all, I have to admit, I enjoyed the time outside. David walks up to us and puts his hand onto my shoulder.

Davy looks at him: “Pa, Todd´s girl-”

BOOM.

This time, the bomb is really close to us. The noise is deafening. My ears start ringing. I can´t react. I see pieces of stone flying around. Other things too. They look oddly familiar, but I really don´t want to think about it. But I feel someone pushing me to the ground and someone covering my upper body and more importantly my head. But it´s not Davy. Davy is sitting right in front of me, holding my hands. It´s David who´s covering me. 

My pulse is really high. I breath fast, almost gasping for air. I´m shaking a lot. I´m still in shock even though it´s really quiet around us. There are no pieces of stone flying around any more. The air smells like dust. But what irritates me even more is David, who´s still covering me. He´s not moving at all. He isn´t shaking, his breathing is the only way I can tell that he´s even still alive. And even his breathing is still calm. And I really don´t know how.

Suddenly, he´s getting up. So is Davy. I´m the only one left on the ground, but Davy offers me a hand and pulls me onto my feet.

“Yer alright?,” Davy asks immediately.

I nod: “Yes.”

Then I look at David: “Thank you David!”

Davy looks at me confused, but before I can say something, he´s turning towards the place the bomb exploded.

“Pa, we should check,” Davy says.

His noise is worried and loud, it´s almost as bad as the past few minutes.

“That´s a good idea, David,” his dad answers before turning towards me.

“You should go back into the barn and stay there.”

I nod. Then I hug Davy again and run back into the barn. I climb up the ladder and sit down in the spot I was sitting with my dad earlier. I hope he´s alright. I hope everyone else is alright too. Though I know not everyone is. And I hope Davy stays save. My Davy.

After what feels like an eternity, Davy comes back. I climb back down the ladder and run up to him. I kiss him as soon as I reach him, enjoying the feeling of safety and home, having him here with me. He looks pale and kind of in shock, but he kisses me back and pulls me into a hug. He´s pressing me so close to his chest, I feel like he´s gonna crush me. But at the same time, it feels really nice. It feels safe. And I can´t believe I´ve got him with me. Because, I love you, Davy Prentiss Jr., I effing love you. But I don´t have noise. He can´t see what I´m thinking.

“I love you,” I whisper.

He doesn´t break the hug, he just looks down at me as if he didn´t understand.

“Davy Prentiss jr. I effing love you. I love you so much,” I say, slightly louder this time.

And he smiles down at me. And then, he kisses me again. And in his noise, there is nothing but my name. Over and Over. Myra, Myra, Myra. And it´s never been this blinding before. 

“I love you too, Myra. I don´t want to live without you any more.”

And I know, that it´s true. Every single word is true. And so pure. And even with all that´s happening, I feel more than just happy. This moment is perfect. At least, for a bit.

Davy´s pa is clearing his throat behind us. And that´s what breaks our hug.


	14. Epilogue

I stay move slightly behind Davy. My hand never leaves his. And I can´t believe it. David is standing there. Staring at us. It´s not the almost friendly look he´s had all this time. He looks mad. I don´t know why. But he´s president Prentiss again. And then I see it. If I had noise, Davy would know. I see the gun. He´s pointing a gun. He´s pointing it at me. I´m dead. I´ll die. He´s gonna kill me. I know it. I always knew it. He´s gonna shoot me. I feel myself shaking. Fear. I´m scared. For the first time in ages. I don´t want to die. I want to stay. I want to be with Davy. I can´t leave. I can´t leave Davy. I can´t leave my pa. My pa would be alone. No one left. I don´t want to die. And by Davy´s noise, I can tell that he doesn´t know what´s happening.

And then, he shoots. President Prentiss shoots. He shoots at me. My ears are ringing. And then, that is it.

For a second, I see my family. My pa´s. My brother. My afternoons alone in the library. Teaching myself how to read. On our farm. Standing on the field, helping my family. I see our Spackle. I see the stories she showed me. 

I see us cooking together. Me and our Spackle. Me and my pa. My pa, Owen, who I have always been closer to. Who wanted us to stay together. Now, he´s alone. Without my other pa. Lost. Like me. 

I see the day president Prentiss arrived. The moment, the army stormed into our house. My pa´s holding me and my brother close. So they won´t separate us. Me, being dragged away from my family. My brother crying. 

I see my pa´s trying to get away from the army. Trying to get me back. My trying to get back. My struggle against their grip. My completely useless struggle. Being in the house of healing. Meeting Mistress Gray. Who never liked me. Meeting Nell. Running away. Being shot for the first time. All the pain that came with it. 

I see Davy. Davy supporting me. Davy´s bright noise, when I was proud of him. Davy´s stories in his noise. Stories about his home town. Stories he´s learned from his pa. Stories about his day. The feeling of comfort when he was close to me. Davy and me at the lake. Davy and me hugging. Davy and me kissing.

And then, it´s gone. Everything is black. I don´t feel anything. No pain. No movement around me. No one close to me. I´m alone. Alone in blackness. And I don´t know, what will come. But I know that this is the end. And that I won´t see Davy again.

I´m sorry, Davy.

3rd Person  
Davy feels Myra letting go of his hand. He looks to the side. Myra is looking at him. Or not, it´s more like she´s staring right through him. Her eyes are empty. Davy flinches. In the same second Myra collapses next to him, taking Davy out of his state of confusion. Davy reacts within a second and catches her, before she hits the ground. 

Davy sits down on the dusty floor of the barn, still holding on to Myra. Davy´s noise starts to get louder, consuming everything around. A stream of words surrounding everything around. There is so much chaos in his noise, you can´t hear a single word or see a single picture. 

Myra in Davy´s arms is still staring at him, unmoving, lifeless only. Davy is too scared to check her pulse, listen to her breathing or even look away from her unmoving, emotionless eyes. Carefully, he looks away from her eyes, checking for injuries. His stomach feels like it turns upside down when he sees what happened. 

A stain of blood just below her breasts, where her heart is. A lot of blood. Nothing Davy hasn´t seen before. Nothing new to Davy. But something Davy doesn´t want to see right now. Not while looking at Myra. His Myra. 

One of his hands is still underneath her head. He moves the other one of his shaking hands, closing her eyes. He couldn´t stand Myra´s empty eyes staring at him any more. Davy´s eyes are stinging, tears coming up. 

But he doesn´t want to cry. And he won´t. Not in front of his pa.

He looks up, facing his pa, who is just putting away his gun. Mayor Prentiss concentrates on every movement he makes, putting away the weapon.

“What did you do?,” Davy yells.

His pa looks away from his movement, smiling at his son: “I saved your life, son.”

“What?”

“She´s part of the Answer. I don´t blame you for not knowing, she played all of us. Even me. But she didn´t love you, she just used you.”

Davy almost drops Myra´s body onto the ground in shock. He always believed his pa, everything he ever said, but right now, he just doesn´t. He can´t. Davy knows Myra. And Myra loves him. Myra loved him. Because, people can´t love after they died, can they? And Myra would´ve never betrayed him. 

“Yer lying,” Davy says quietly. 

He´s never talked to his pa before like that. But today. It´s different today. And Davy doesn´t think right now. Not in this situation.

“Do you really think you could´ve saved her life without help? Don´t you think women from the Answer came to safe her life? David, I´m sorry, but you have to face it. She wasn´t your friend.”

“I saved her. She wasn´t part of the Answer. She was my- my Myra! And you killed her!”

“Love is weakness, you see. You can´t even see that she was only using you,” Mayor Prentiss replies, still staying calm.

And Davy´s noise is changing. Love is weakness is all of a sudden all over his noise. Davy is thinking about what his pa just said. But he doesn´t believe it. Time with Myra was amazing. She made him a better person. Love can´t be weakness. And his noise gets clouded with other thoughts again.

“Love ain´t no weakness,” Davy exclaims.

And Mayor Prentiss doesn´t argue. Instead, he´s sending a thought right into Davy´s head. YER NOTHING YER NOTHING shoots through Davy´s head. Davy wants to tell his pa to stop, but he doesn´t have the strength any more. His noise is getting messier by the second.

Mayor Prentiss looks at Davy, sitting huddled together on the floor: “You were never able to save her!”

With that, Mayor Prentiss is leaving the barn and in it his son, still hugging the lifeless body of the girl he loves. He was struggling with thoughts about how his father might have been right. How Myra might´ve only tried to use him to kill him or his father. How Myra maybe would´ve betrayed him. 

But at the same time, Davy can´t believe it. He saved Myra. Not some healers from the Answer. He was able to save her. Davy looks down, Myra still looking the same. And suddenly, Davy realizes and his noise is clearing up. 

I was never able to save her is suddenly loud and clear in his noise. He was never able to save her.


End file.
